Bored games

Dear Diary,

Well, today has been... challenging. I didn't go begging (sorry, busking) first thing, which I should have done really. I can't stand begging. It is an awful feeling, being so under the weather just makes it worse.

Today I finished translating Tacitus Annales [14.29] and am planning on translating it up until the end of Boadicea's revolt (yes, I shall be referring to the heroine as "Boadicea" because it reminds me of studying history at Woodroffe. I don't care if it's incorrect, I have much nostalgia for ancient history I learned at school, and chose it over geography as a subject (in France they are the same subject - which I find strange, surely geology is closer to geography). I should, by rights refer to her as "Boudicca" (as in the correct Latin form for the proper noun), but I will not out of nostalgia. Anyway.

This evening's... frivolity was fun I suppose. In a sort of Sad Sack/Victor Meldrew kind of way. On the one hand it was nice to have company, and on the other, I can safely say that board games bore more, in comparison to studying Latin (why study anything else?). I really don't know what I am going to do if I fail. The rational part of me says, "stick it out [working] for another two years, get three large together, only to re-take it again and again until you pass", then the troubadour in me says, "Didier's body will not live forever, go to see him while you still have the chance."

Bugger. It's all on a knife-edge, a cliff-hanger, on tender-hooks the entire time. I fear I will have to placate my father this holiday season by not studying around him when I visit (he can't stand me studying, and loathes Ronulus, which really irritates me, but I am becoming accustomed to fathers ... manner).

I am freaking out about not having a job. I am thinking of going back into freelance gynecology, or going back on the game. That way I could work from home at least. Bugger.

In sickness and in health?

Dear Diary,

I've been flu'd out for three whole days now and it has gone way beyond a joke. I should go begging tomorrow, lest I lose the house, but I fear it would only make my condition worse, besides, I can't sing at the moment. It had better have cleared up by Saturday, or I won't be able to eat next week (I gig for £20/three hours, that's 5% of the musician's union minimum).

I am still on tender-hooks about my result. If I fail, I have no choice but to go back to France. I cannot afford to re-take a module (one single module costs as much as I earned for the whole of last year). It is okay though, I am really looking forward to eating proper food again, having some friends, and talking about classical studies with people who actually know about it. Not ignorant peons.

I am so sick of this place. Had I been on mEnTaL benefit I wouldn't be having all this eviction and tax threats looming over my head constantly. I would be better off (£130/week better off!) and I wouldn't have to go to the restaurant to work, nor even study at all. I could just do what the crazy cat lady does, and just pretend like I know everything already, sit an watch television all day. As it stands, depending on my results come December 4th, depends whether I stay here in the UK. I have no family ties and have kept in contact with Audrey, Maxime and Lillian. Finding my way back to Didier's will not be hard.

Studying Domitian whilst having the dreaded lurgi

Dear Diary,

I was at work the other night (Won's westwon) and two of my colleagues (the 'phet freak young lad and prozac Julie - either being really depressed or whirling about like a dervish, respectively) were under the weather. At one point, the boy had stomach cramps and was hunched over, after having left for about half an hour. I thought he might just be on some toxins or perhaps buckles under pressure easily (he often leaves when "Chairlady Mao" begins shouting). He wouldn't last two days at "hell on earth" (the pub Wolfae and I used to work at: she stuck it out for three months, me, a year). Anyway. Young boy and prozac Julie were surely feeling poorly, and whatever awful burning contagion they have has seemingly been transmitted, to me. Great. Juuust great. For the last two days I have been... regular. Not only that but I feel like what I just lost, in terms of weight. I have had to give up smoking (which makes me irritable, but reading philosophy and sacred books help with that) which sucks big-time. For the most part I am likely through the worst of it, but I still feel like rubbish.

I will probably even have to miss D&D tomorrow, but I don't know. I loathed to return to such boyish habits, but my only impetus for doing so was being banned from the OU Classical Studies society even prior to its formal conception (which has to be some kind of record). Gemini is a social creature, an intellectual. I am not made for sitting alone the entire time never talking to anybody.

I managed to read some more literature about Domitian on Jstor, and although us "mortals" (students) have only a fraction of the information available to "the gods" (ALs) there was still some kick-ass articles on there. The Jstor access is awesome. I hasten to add that not one single article of such quality appeared in the search results with the same criterion in the new and "improved" OU library, not one.

I have a friend across the road (I say "friend", should I say, a man I know walks his dog in the same field as mine, whom also happens to be a student of history with the OU) who said that one can actually stall the conferring of [dis]honours of a degree. This makes me wonder about the crayon/unicorn idea. What I will likely do, upon flunking Latin (if indeed I do flunk, which is possible) is call them up and simply explain [amicably] that "Open" is not a subject, is of no use to an employer, and that a classical studies degree without Latin is not a classical studies degree, in truth. I would prefer a diploma in humanitas to a dishonourable BA in "Open", even though the Dip.H.E. is only equivalent to two years at college (an HND). It is more useful, in terms of gaining a job, especially abroad. (Diplome means "degree" in French). Of course, the University could refuse to grant me anything, as Cambridge did to Marlowe, that is still a possibility. In which case I will simply become a musician again.

He's a very naughty boy (Domitian)

Dear Diary,

After immersing myself in a bunch of tomes, a little light reading (the CAH series volumes, vii, x & xi and a book on selected primary sources from Rome) I come away with my head filled with a bunch of facts about Domitian. Being already somewhat familiar with a couple of key primary sources on him (Suetonius and mentions in Tacitus) I was suprised to stumble across another half a dozen sources with which I was not previously acquainted. That was good. The CAH is superb, as it relates attested inscriptions, a number of coins, and indeed archaeological remains of roads, forts and buildings to the literary sources. The emphasis on philological deductions as well as useful insight into the events surrounding Domitian's reign, that is to say, from the 14th of September 81 to 96 Christian Era.

Although largely focused on the first half of his Principate, especially the years 83-85, I now know an unhealthy amount about this seemingly really quite incongruous emperor. I reserved judgement about whether he was as bad as his critics painted him, but after reviewing much of the evidence (and I don't care if he built a few nice buildings, put some extra metal in coins and paid his personal bodyguards more) I can safely say that this emperor was indeed a very, very naughty boy, to say the least.

Now I have the unenviable task of collating my notes, then trawling through "the holy trinity" of books (the three A340 source books) and finding citations, to make it look as though I have been reading Block 2 the entire time, which I haven't. Instead, I have been reading the CAH, Josephus, Tacitus, Pliny and Suetonius. I wish I had Dio Cassius, Martial and Statius to hand. The on-line libraries are so bloody slow. My books I can flick from page to page with ease, none of this, click... wait... click... wait... (two hours later), "ah! there is the page I needed" nonsense. Anyway, back to the grind.

RPG session

Dear Diary,

I'm like a small child, tonight I went to dungeons and dragons and I had a great time. It was awesome. Just like last session, I managed to find an NPC henchman, and he bought the farm straight away, this time petrified by a repeating gem Gorgon trap in a magic maze, just beneath an illusionary spire. It was pretty cool. Max's character (Vergil) levelled up which was awesome. I now have an animated +3 shield, an intelligent weapon and a magic floating sword to attack enemies with at a distance that does even more damage per attack than my elemental damage cudgel ("Mnemosyne"). Awesome. It kicks ass.

Even so, I still managed to encourage them to perhaps play Game of Thrones strategy game (much more my cup of tea) next week, and the Dungeon Meister agreed to that. (They'll prolly wanna robus arn, but one can but hope to play the board game, six-players). Anyway.

I gotts study, Max out.

Updated character sheet (quantified interactive storytelling) 5th ed.

Name: Pubilius Vergilius Maronis Vates
Occupation: Bard.
Level: XII (Virtuoso).
Alignment: Lawful Good.
Background: Performer: former acrobat and fire-eater, also virtuoso cithara player and singer.
Ideals: Ambitious, mercantile.
Bonds: Treasures his cithara ("Arion") above all.
Flaws: Outspoken and becomes irritated when not the centre of attention.
Culture: Romano-Elf
Age: 37
Eyes: Rainbow coloured
Height: 5' 8"
Weight: 120lbs
Skin: fair
Experience: 48,001
Proficiency Bonus: +4

Stats:
STRength: 12
DEXterity: 16
CONstitution: 14
INTelligence: 13
WISdom: 9
CHArisma: 18 (+2 from "Arion")

AC: 14 (+ 3 from "Herakles")
HP: 89/89 (+ Wand of Bear's Endurance)
HD: 8+2

Skills:
Acrobatics (1), Performance (2), Performance - cithara (1), Performance - Harp (1), Performance - Flute (1), Performance - Sitar (1), Persuade (1), Sleight of hand (1), Stealth (1), Disguise (1), Armour (Medium), Shields (1), Weapons (Simple & Martial), Weapons - Bows (1), Weapons - gladii (1), Weapons - Longswords (1), Weapons - Rapier (2).

Traits & Features:
Jack-of-all-trades (may use any skill with a reasonable chance of success), Song of Rest (+D8 HP to party), Unseen University (+1 att/rnd), Defensive Duelist (prof.bon+sk.Lvx2), Counter-charm, Font of Inspiration & Magick Initiate (Wizard).

Signature Item: an ornamental dagger graced by the favour of a mysterious noblewoman with the initials "G.P.".

Wizard Spells: Ray of Frost, Light; Magick Missile; Cone of Cold, Cloudkill;
Bard Spells: Mend Object, Blade Ward, Prestidigition, True Strike; Identify Magick Artefact; Knock, Hold Person, Detect Thoughts, Suggest Thoughts; Tongues (all languages), Stinking Cloud, Dispel Magick, Sending; Greater Invisibility, Freedom of Movement; Hold Monster; Polymorph; True Sight.
Spells per day: Cantrips: 4 + 2 Wizard, Lv I: 4 + 1 Wizard, Lv II: 3, Lv III: 3, Lv IV: 3 & Lv V: 1.

Items: Pouch containing 114 gold crowns, 64 coppoer pennies, standard issue bard camping kit (cf. PHB), Magickal cithara "Arion" (adds cumulative bonus to skills and +2 Charisma whilst holding "him"), Gleeman costume (brightly coloured patchwork cloak), Rapier, Harp ("Kelpie"), Leather Armour (11+dex), Dagger; "Herakles" the magickal shield + 3 (animated, floating); "Asclepius" (Wand that transforms into serpent); "Hephaestus" (Armour of fire resistance); "Djinn" (Ring of Three Wishes - none used); Arrows (280); "Recordit" Talking cudgel (D8 damage + 3D8 elemental damage, bludgeoning) intelligent weapon +4; Wand of Bear's Endurance (once per day)

Spells per day:
Cantrips: 4
Lv I: 6
Lv II: 4
Lv III: 3
Lv IV: 3
Lv V: 2
Lv VI: 1

Bonus ability: additional spells from outside of bard school (already added).

Adventure summary: Slew a couple of Aboleths, went through a magic-library, met some magickal trader who offered him a deck of many things. Virgil drew "Achilles" (a level four warrior companion) then, drew another card "Death" where a wraith type thang attacked him. Unfortunately Achilles bought the farm on that one, and Virgil survived (just).

Strength in adversity

Dear Diary,

My computer packed up, and the shop wouldn't repair it, despite the fact it is under warranty, so I haven't blogged in a while. For the most part, life sucks. I'm still working for Chairlady Mao down at the Chinese restaurant, and bustin' my ass at the commie café for peanuts. I can't afford rent, council tax nor to replace the PC. I am not permitted to re-take Latin so I am on tender-hooks about my result for my advanced Latin re-sit. The University very kindly have offered me a degree still, but I will not be conferred with the honours of a Classical Studies degree. If I do flunk the Latin, as far as I can see I may as well have not gone to University in the first place. I will take some crayons into my Roman Archaeology examination and write the entire lot in pink letters (in Latin) complete with rainbows, unicorns and leprechauns on the paper, as I intend to purposely fail so that I earn a diploma in humanitas instead of a degree in "Open" (which is not a subject, and merely a form of advertising for the University). I am fed up, down in the dumps, and have reached my wits end. Again.

Artists generally care only for what other artists think (and patrons), and yesterday at the show, a great artist came to see me play. I was deeply moved and most profoundly honoured.

A ray of light, in an otherwise dull and meaningless void that is my solitary life.