Tomorrow brings some good news. For one, it's my day off, and it's the local music get together. This means getting inebriated and having a good time, which is surely a good thing. I should be working on learning how to program, put some books up there, and work towards becoming more than a mere slave to Captain Bligh and the adolescent Lilliputians. Yet what for? I have lost all motivation to be anything other than a slave. Why? Because after a dozen years of trying to better myself, I have ended up right back where I was when I was only 14 years old. I have nothing to live for, so why try at all?
It says more about this country than it does about me.
Tomorrow, instead of working, I shall play piano, get pretty tight (as Sea Sick Steve terms it), and then go play some guitar.
I heard today that a former lodger is returning to the Big Brother household. He describes himself as 'a Christian hermeticist', which is alright by me. (At the very least, he is cognisant of the laws of God). Stalin is content because at least game-night will have a third player.
In other news, I have been typing up my hand written notes to my translation of the Corpus Hermeticum. These are important because should I lose this particular book then I lose years of work and research. It also has the makings of a new book, a commentary on the Corpus.
Having been remunerated for my servile labour recently, I ordered a couple of hundred bucks worth of books today. One book was priced at £100 (an Oxford University critical edition of Cicero's Brutus). It's pretty cool. I perhaps shouldn't spend so much on books, but there is no price on knowledge and divine wisdom (even if such things are deemed to be worthless, much like education is, in this country at least). We never stop learning. Life (and indeed future lives) is a great school. We are part of a vast pattern, a design which is not ordinarily discernible, except through glimpses, visions, like shadows cast from moonlight.
There is one more thing which is noteworthy, Dear Diary. I come to realise, finally, that my addiction to education and book learning must be curtailed. I cannot justify spending £3,500 a year on education when it has led me absolutely nowhere thus far. Therefore I have decided (perhaps against my better judgement) to not study a degree in law. I already hold two degrees, so what's the point in paying shed-loads of cash I don't have only to end up in precisely the same place I was when I was 14 years old? (As I said: education has no meaning here, it has no significance, no application: this is not Renaissance Italy, when classical education actually meant something, nor is this the heyday of ancient Rome, when an educated slave was worth more than an uneducated one). This is Dark Age Britain. Educated. Uneducated. Talented. Talentless. Honest. Dishonest. None of these things make any difference here. These, are the Dark Ages (and anyone that thinks otherwise is merely deluding themselves, and instead of accepting reality for how it is, makes it up as they go along).
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