One might imagine that as a historian, I could be waffling on about the House of Commons being blown up by Guy Fawkes, or as a spectator of life, watching pretty fireworks displays or setting straw men on fire. Alas, no. I was in Hades this weekend (more on that later...).
I am concerned about the cost of this law degree. Evidently, criminal law is a subject for paupers, beggars, slaves, just as archaeology, classical Latin and ancient Greek are subjects for paupers, beggars and slaves in Dark Age Britain. I slog my bloody guts out, each evening, at the behest of impatient yelling teenagers and Eastern European thugs. The cost of my third degree is £15,000, up front, and for what? For a job which pays less than minimum wage. But it is the prestige, the honour of being f-ed up the ass by the State that means becoming a junior criminal barrister is such an "illustrious" profession, much like becoming a university lecturer (therefore having to take a part time job to secure enough for your family, and have your pension taken away), or a junior doctor (for example, Rose Polge in 2016) that throws herself into the sea because there is no point in making anything of yourself here, now, in Dark Age Britain. The more you learn, the less you earn. Now, some may say I am superficial and materialistic, but when a junior criminal barrister, or a junior doctor, or a university lecturer isn't even paid enough to make ends meet, so has to take jobs on the side just to keep their head above water, evidently, something is very wrong, somewhere.
I'm f-ing off the law degree. Why? Because criminal law - in Dark Age Britain at least - is a subject for poor people, beggars, slaves. Take, for example, someone that knows:
The notion that "fat-cat solicitors and swaggering ruddy-nosed barristers are gorging on taxpayer cream, cackling as they speed away from court in their open-top BMWs to quaff legally aided Dom Pérignon 1966 after a half-day spent pulling the wool over a jury's eyes" contains no truth whatsoever (Anonmymous, 2019, p.202 [Stories of the Law and How It's Broken {The Secret Barrister}]. The truth is, that studying law, just like studying Latin, at university, gets you absolutely nowhere, except in debt, only to do a very difficult job for less than minimum wage (once overtime and expenses are factored in). Yet it's the "prestige", the "honour" of becoming a junior criminal barrister that counts, right?
Wrong. It's a tough job, very tough, and is worth more than this, a lot more.
Back to Hades. This evening the oompa loompa lost her s- again, as did the older thug. Luckily, we had an audience. Amid the chaos, the yelling, throwing things (by the oompa loompa) and the older thug swearing in his usual gangster type demeanor (his pitbull is also called 'gangster' by the way - which tells you something about the man: not only of the most common breeding and combative nature, but also his choice of appelation for his hound). The audience (customers) began to laugh. To which the thug replied, "Is not funny" then began swearing, and I don't mean on a solemn oath over the river Styx or an oath sworn to the All-Seeing Sun God. I mean, he lost his s-. I admit, I found it quite amusing. Here the most experienced, the most well educated, the most mindful, are nothing in Dark Age Britain. On the contrary, as the Lilliputian and oompa loompa have proved time and time again, yelling, throwing things, and employing profanities, buckling under even the slightest pressure, is where it's at. I would go further than this. I would say that - far from having a sense of mindfulness, and thinking about the consequences of one's actions, here, in Dark Age Britain, it is purposely being unmindful which is the way to get ahead. These teenagers, when they clean the sides, throw food everywhere. When they take pans or grilles, they slam them down. This essentially amounts to puerile attention seeking, a low frustration tolerance and having no patience whatsover. I know for a fact that these people have not read "If" by Rudyard Kipling. They do not keep their heads about them when all others lose theirs. On the contrary, they enjoy being utterly brainless, lacking in all reason, and certainly not at all polite.
What of age, experience, education, politeness, caring, being thoughtful, being mindful? These things make one the very worst kind of human being, the lowest, most basest slave that ever subsisted in this once great nation. Imagine, two degrees, a third in law, and what is there? Nothing. Nay, less than nothing: volunteer 'work' (if you're lucky...), which is nothing more than slavery, however you dress it up and pretend it's something it's not.
These are the Dark Ages, and anyone that thinks otherwise is living in f-ing Rainbow land. And that too, is a fact.
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