Detectorists (season 3) from a classicist's perspective

Dear Diary,

I once had a regular gig at a little café in my home town of Bridport and played Johnny Flynn's song which is the theme of Mackenzie Crook's Detectorists. I happened to meet a man in the audience who was the head of a small archaeological unit in Dorset, and he commended the song as it was archaeology related. (The same archaeologist, in his work history had been the very man that had excavated a place in London, near the Bay of Dogs, which, after laboratory analysis, had been the first securable dated find to give a terminus post quem for buildings in London. This was before the 'Bloomsbury Tablets' were discovered not so long ago). Anyway, I mentioned to the late Charles Phillip-Clarke (my archaeological mentor I worked for at the time) about Detectorists and his reply was one of disdain. Much like Liz Green (not the psychologist/astrologist author, but the Canadian Romano-British archaeologist), Charles Phillip-Clarke disliked metal detectors. He said that they prioritised metal over and above other important finds, taking artefacts out of context, disregarding things like building sections, stonework, pottery and anything else which is not made of metal. They are, in fact, looters.

I know of more than one 'detectorist' in Bridport (none of which hold any qualifications in archaeology whatsoever) and they are all in it for one thing only: the money. They do not care about Britain's cultural heritage. I have even seen them near here, where I live now, in Wiltshire. I dislike them very much. Anyway, rant over.

Despite my quibbles about Detectorists (and detectorists, as a regular noun not a proper noun) I actually quite like this show. It is vaguely amusing I suppose. There are, however, a couple of points which are inconsistent with reality (it, being a work of fiction). Firstly, one cannot study archaeology at the Open University, as the OU do not offer any archaeology modules. (They did when I was studying towards my first degree, when the show was first aired, so I suppose this is not inconsistent with reality). Secondly, one does not find a good job as an archaeologist once finishing one, or even two degrees, at the Open University. (Though to be fair, in the storyline, Mackenzi Crook's character ends up in a dead end temping job, so this much is truthful). What happens once one finishes two degrees in archaeology and Classical Latin at the OU, is that one does unskilled labour for minimum wage, or worse still, takes pains to become a "volunteer" (slave, however you dress it up) for Historic England. Though laudable, this doesn't pay the rent. This is the actual reality of what happens if you study archaeology at the Open University. That is, unless one indulges in fiction and sees comedic entertainment shows as reflecting reality itself. This is Dark Age Britain, not the times of Augustus Henry Fox Lane Pitt Rivers.

Max.