Britain: a tradition of enslavement by foreign powers

Dear Diary,

I shouldn't gripe and grumble about being enslaved by uneducated, rough, unskilled foreigners and striplings that never read a single book since school. Britain has a long tradition of being invaded then enslaved by foreigners, and 2022 is no different. For example, in the writings of Cassius Dio (60.19.5-60.20.1) Britain offered no organised resistance whatsoever to the Roman invasion of 43 C.E. Furthermore, Tacitus (Agricola 12) implies that Britain had a lack of unity at this time. What with Scotland constantly clamouring for independence, not much has changed, it would seem.

Indeed, in the writings of Nennius (31 [Mommsen's edition]), the Britons quite happily gave up food and clothing to foreign invaders, handing over the island of Thanet, and giving up a stud of horses. According to Nennius (36-38) when the Germanic invaders became too numerous, the Britons soon caved in to guile and became enslaved. Therefore, we Britons have a long tradition of being enslaved and overthrown by foreigners. I should be proud to be a slave, at the behest of foreign slave drivers and uneducated teenagers. This is, after all, how Britain has always done things. It is a nation of slaves.

Surely since then there was Hastings on the 14th of October, 1066, and, according to the Bayeux tapestry, Britain invited the foreigners over and handed them the throne, and became enslaved only too willingly. Therefore I should be proud to be enslaved by brutish foreigners. It is a tradition that Britain has kept up for two thousand years.

Max.