Low ebb.

Dear Diary,

A whole fortnight has passed and I still have not had my essay marked; I’m on tenderhooks the entire time. I am utterly demoralised about this archæological assignment I handed in. I wrote it (in my thoughts) over the course of several years; I was lucky to find another scholar who shared a similar viewpoint, (Quigley) and so had citations to give.

I failed the last one, and will in all likeliness fail this one, because of my stupid rebellious streak. I am an idiot. I should have conformed to the fully straight down the line ‘copy out the textbook in my own words’ technique which garners the most marks. I didn’t, because I felt so spurned at failing the first essay. I am a failure and if I pass this assignment it will be nothing short of a Miracle.

I am completely demoralised and on a low ebb today. I find myself unable to focus and time is ticking away. It’s only two days until I send off this Latin essay, and I still have two whole chapters to work through before I can begin to start the essay. Despite being acutely intellectual, my spirit is downcast. The sole crumb of comfort I have is being able to speak French. Without this, Latin would be much much more difficult. I use it as a bridging language, because the words are closer to the original Latin than our own Germanic tongue.

I am at a loss. Likely destined to fail. I know I must pick myself up, carry on in confidence, but today I do not eat the bear, the bear eats me. I am no-one. I am nothing. I am less than nothing.