The interview (glorified shelf-stacker on minimum wage)

Dear Diary,

So, I'm taking this interview business seriously. I even got a haircut today (ever since the lock-down, some three years ago, I've been growing my hair long again in rebellion, but now that the restrictions have finally been lifted and our civil liberties fully restored, I thought it is best to get rid of my girly hippie locks and return to a more Roman hairstyle). I learnt a lesson while there. I will, in future, negotiate how much the haircut will cost before I have it cut. (She overcharged me, and I'm as poor as a church mouse, but paid what she asked).

In addition to getting a short back and sides, I've also been reading the script from the American version of House of Cards, researching potential rebuttals for my apparent lack of managerial experience. I figure that Robin Wright and Lord Michael Dobbs know better than I do about how to draw strength from adversity (I refer to episodes 1 and 11 from season 4), when Clare Underwood makes a play for Vice-President without having any actual experience to draw from. I also used a line from the comic poet Aristophanes, though I couldn't track down the citation (which would mean re-reading the entire corpus again, which I haven't got time to, because the interview is on first thing Monday morning) which essentially states, 'First, learn how to pull an oar, only then can you take the helm." (Again House of Cards falsely attributed to Sulla upon the death of his rival Marius, though no trace of such a quote exists in either Plutarch, Appian, Velleius Paterculus, Florus or Valerius Maximus). This again, amplifies my strengths, of having done good service, rather than my weaknesses.

I am also looking into psychology, body language and neuro-linguistic programming: what is unsaid (for most communication is unspoken) in an attempt to tip the odds in my favour. (Not that I will seem concerned, but to the contrary, make it appear as though I am doing them a favour, not the other way around). It is important to put up a show of strength, of apparent success. Besides, I already have a job. What need have I of another one?

Not that this is a so-called "job offer" by the British. The British do not know how to do business, they only pretend to. This is not Renaissance Italy, evidently. It's Dark Age Britain. Go to university, study for twelve years, and become a shelf stacker. This, is the reality. This is the so-called 'levelling up' agenda bandied about ('better paid, better skilled' jobs). The dream doesn't exist, except anywhere apart from Britain. That, is the reality, and what is actually going on. Never mind your sugar coated bullshit by politicians that care more about avarice and consolidating their own person power bases, than they do about the nation they supposedly rule over.

Max.