There is a person I know. She's a bit of a character, can sometimes have wild mood swings, but is for the most part an amicable person. I met her through a painter friend of mine, at the exact same time I began my first module of my first degree, a dozen years ago. She was the one that brought my books back for me (as many as we could cram into her car). She had a fall out with her neighbour, who kept the books for me. Anyway, the lady in question went through men like I go through books, but eventually settled down with this one guy. We spoke recently, and in the afternoon, before work yesterday, she seemed fairly together (comparatively, more or less). Then, once I returned from work we had another video call and she was in a hell of a state. I cannot help but pity her, genuinely. Seemingly, her partner is controlling and abusive (according to her testimony). I do not know all the facts of the case, but it seems as though he has some kind of hold on her by which she does not feel safe in her own home (and the tenancy is in her name). She appears to be at his mercy and is on the brink. She is actually suicidal (never a good sign). She has always been independent, a hard worker and supported her family and herself, in autonomy. Now, she is unable to do so, and more than that, she feels trapped.
I had aready pledged my support before I knew all this, as she was very kind bringing my books back for me (asking nothing for doing it), and also hosting my ex-fianceé and I at Christmas and New Year a couple of years ago. I owe her, and now she has asked for my support, it is my duty to help her out.
It's difficult to know what to do, but I have an idea of what to do. Firstly (and most importantly), I have to emphasise that she has the law on her side. Even if her partner is abusive and physically and psychologically dominating her, to the point where she feels suicidal, it is her home, not his. They are not married. No one should feel unsafe in their own home, least of all a lady. Secondly, I am not a tough guy. Although I have an indomitable spirit (usually), I am not a strong man. So, if it does kick off, I will probably not be much help (though that is not for wont of not trying, for I will try my best). However, despite my slight frame and few muscles, both she and I have one thing in our favour: we have friends. Seemingly, this partner of hers is 'very well connected'. He may be, he may not be. I doubt that he is truly well connected. He may be connected to a bunch of unlawful shady criminals, but he is not 'well connected' in the true sense of the word. He is not an 'insider', but more like a crook who knows a number of other crooks, by the sounds of it.
One of her ex-partners, with whom she is still on good terms with, lives just down the road from her (in a neighbouring village) and he is a cage-fighter and storyteller. I will advise that we enlist his support when the moment of the break up comes. (He too studied with us all three at the same university when we all knew each other). He is also a person that (I believe) would not use violence unless absolutely necessary. He is a family man, so is most suited to the task at hand. [I just discovered that he has moved to London, so will probably not be available].
I have no idea who reads this but soon, I am going to put myself in harm's way. It may be that I and more importantly, she and her daughter, may not come out of this unscathed. Yet something has to be done. This cannot go on like this. The objective is to make sure she and her daughter are safe, and if not relocated, assert the authority that she is able to live in her own home without him being there. I'll be honest, if it gets really hairy and a bunch of hoodlums turn up, the police will probably have to be called. It is necessary. Domestic abuse is not to be tolerated. Is it any of my business? No, not really, except for one thing: she is my friend. What kind of a friend would I be if I were only there for her when the sun shines, and never through the tough times? I wouldn't actually be a true friend, but only a 'fair-weather' friend. Friends are important.
Max.
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